"Watch husband get sexually assaulted by random woman" was not on my list
I've been inspired by the likes of Sarah Von and TNR to create a list of 27 things I want to do before my 27th birthday. However, I haven't gotten around to actually writing down the list. Despite that fact, I knew that 1) Going to a pro football game for the first time, and 2) Tailgating for the first time, were both on that list. You can ask Noah. I told him.
Well. Next month we're planning on tailgating at a Wake Forest football game with a friend from work who takes tailgating Very Seriously, but some other pals from work ended up with two extra tickets to yesterday's Panthers–Bills game, so we went.
There was eating of grilled brats and drinking of beer, something I don't often do, but I actually enjoyed the beer seeing as it was a perfectly crisp fall day. Also, it just seemed like the right thing to do. Because every commercial I've seen depicting tailgating features supposedly cool, sports-loving women drinking beer and cheering. (Perhaps I should put "be objectified by domestic beer company" on my list, so I can retroactively cross it off.)
Noah and I had tons of fun, and I didn't even get mad over the fact that we came in 4th out of 4 teams in the cornhole championship, a tailgating sport that sounds sort of rude but really isn't. Also, our seats were literally in the second row from the very tip top of the stadium. We were just yards away from the very scary looking ladder up to the stadium lights. The view, though, was spectacular.
The Panthers lost in a huge mushroom cloud of shame. Looking back, I realize I should have been more specific on my list, i.e. "Attend a pro football game in which the team I am rooting for actually scores some offensive points." I mean, John Kasay missed TWO field goals, which is basically his missed-field-goal quota for the year. Awesome. And then good ole Jake Delhomme threw three interceptions. Which is basically his interception quota per game these days. Worse yet, it seems that the upper decks were reserved for an influx of Buffalo fans, who are—and I'm speaking objectively here—obnoxious.
So obnoxious, in fact, that one of them—a possibly intoxicated but obviously loose woman—spanked Noah as we were walking back to the car while shouting "You just got spanked by Buffalo!" I would have punched her in the mouth except for the fact that there were Charlotte/Mecklenburg police officers standing there directing traffic.
All in all, a great time. And now I only have 25 items left to go.