Unfit, or maybe just ill-fitting
SCENE ONE
Erin has just arrived home from work. On her lunch break she stopped by Forever 21 since now, at age almost-26, she finally looks old enough to shop there.
ERIN (modeling new black dress): And this is my new black dress.
NOAH: Very nice.
(Erin leaves, then returns wearing a long lightweight knitted tunic.)
ERIN (doing model poses): And this is my new light-weight tunic. If I was a celebrity, I would wear this as a dress, like so.
(She indicates the fact that she's not wearing pants, then leaves.)
NOAH: And what's the last thing?
ERIN (returns, wearing long gray and black vest): And this is my vest. Although it is neither a shirt nor a dress, if I were a celebrity, I would wear it as either.
(She indicates the fact that she is wearing a long vest with no pants or shirt.)
NOAH: I wish you could blog photos of yourself like this. That'd be really funny.
ERIN: No can do. I run a family-friendly site.
(Erin leaves, accidentally flashes butt cheeks a la celebrities who wear shirts and vests as whole outfits.)
* * *
SCENE TWO
Erin drives home from work for lunch. She, Noah and baby Ethan sit around the dining table eating, and discussing whether or not they should take Ethan to Water Babies that evening.
ERIN: I don't want to give up on him.
(She hands Ethan a bit of ice cream sandwich, which he claims is "hot.")
NOAH: We're not giving up on him. He clearly doesn't like it.
(He wipes Ethan's ice creamey fingers.)
ERIN: But you've told me that you wish your parents had encouraged you not to give up the French horn!
(She hands Ethan a cracker, which he throws on the ground.)
NOAH: But I didn't cry every time I played the French horn.
(Ethan sticks his finger in the pecan-crusted cream-cheese-chicken ball on the table, licks it, then announces "Num-a-num-a-num.")
ERIN: Touche.
Exeunt