Status report
The heat from a mag light is not unlike the heat from an oven when it's held just inches from your face, and I know this because last night I spent 15 minutes under one when I forced Noah and my parents to inspect my throat for anomalies. They almost found one, too, but then decided it was just a tonsil vein.
However, I've developed something of a rash on my abdomen and left shoulder that's stumping everyone (everyone being my mom and Noah). Do yourself a favor: Don't Google ringworm. And therein lies the difference between me and a hypochondriac.
My problem isn't hypochondria, it's self-misdiagnosis. Like the time I had a heart attack (gallbladder), and the time I had tongue cancer (ranula—again, don't Google that). Yesterday I was convinced that my body was under viral siege since not only did my right tonsil feel bulgey, my right eye itched uncontrollably all day.
After the Bulgey Tonsil Weird Eye Incident, my friend Lisa sent me this message, via Facebook:
Oh my. Do you have a good doctor? (I'm not offering my services, you've just gone beyond what I can look up online.) Allergy does present with fatigue, itchy eye, rash...isn't that good doctor language?
Maybe it's a reaction to a full house?
I'll give Lisa credit for suggesting allergies, because when I took Benadryl the itchy eye and bulgey tonsil temporarily went away. Or at least I think they did. Difficult to say, since my hands went numb and I passed out on the couch for two hours after taking it. Have I mentioned my sensitivity to medications?
As far as my Serious Conditions potentially resulting from our full house, I actually don't think so. My parents haven't broken anything in the two weeks they've been here (although Noah's Xbox succumbed after my dad touched the power button, there's no proof that he was the cause of death), and I haven't been subjected to much bad TV since we had an extra cable box installed in their room.
In fact, just about the only change I can report is that Plant and P.J. (Plant Junior) seem perkier—and that's probably owing to the huge increase in carbon dioxide from my mom's indefatigable talking and throat clearing.