Sliding scale, or The Comparison Blues

When you're feeling delicate, emotionally speaking, Facebook is absolutely the worst pastime. Because you can sit and browse and compare your life to the dazzling ones of all your Friends You Barely Know Anymore, whose snapshots of gorgeous weddings and incredible travel and the fulfillment of bigger goals than Try to Shower Daily come across as irritating and braggy. Nice beach vacation photo, high school acquaintance! Clearly you're doing well for yourself, and the posting of this photo is direct commentary on my lack of success!


Then I feel bad for mentally attaching snarky thought bubbles to other people's photos and lives in general, and I remind myself that I'm so much better off than many other people. Like that couple who got married in Waffle House. I may not have Giselle's body, but mine is certainly better than Meatloaf's! My house may not be a mansion, but it's better than living in a flea-infested hut in the jungle!

Then I feel bad for demeaning other peoples' lives to feel better about my own. I'm sure there are plenty of people in this world—millions, in fact—who are "worse off" but also have a "better attitude" than me.

Why do I do this? Why do we as a culture do this? When has it ever been productive, fair or fulfilling to measure the value of our lives on some contrived spectrum? My body is what my body is. It's mine, it's what I've got, and it's miraculous. My home is what my home is. It's warm or cool as needed, pleasant, cleanish, with a good amount of land surrounding it (and it might also feature a nuclear fallout shelter and/or Desmond from Lost and/or buried pirate treasure). My talents are what my talents are. I'm no David Sedaris, but I'm not David Sedaris.

Meanwhile, there's a two year old in the room next door to whom I am the world. He's learning how to sleep in a toddler bed, and as I sat on the floor holding his hand, he looked at me and said, "You love me, don't you?" And I said, "Of course I do. I love you very much." And he said, "I'm love you too."

I doubt he'd say the same thing to David Sedaris.