Is it animal cruelty if you make your dog wear mittens?

So we've all been trapped inside for the majority of the past three days owing to some much needed rain. I would have let the dogs frolic in it to their hearts' content, but the problem is they're even more prissy than me when it comes to getting wet in the rain. I have to apply a gentle yet firm foot to the furry buttocks to get either one out the door to do the necessary.

Consequently, the dogs are driving me crazy. There's not a lot for them to do inside for three days straight, especially since the seminal 2010 Ban on Indoor Stick Chewing took effect. So they sleep. Which is fine, except that makes both of them ready to rumble at about 6 a.m. every morning.

The clickety-clack of forty dog toes tap dancing around my uncarpeted house echoes in my skull while I'm trying to cherish those last few moments of Sleepy Time. And then there's the constant up and down off the bed. They love me (what can I say), so although they want to get up and wrestle the moment dawn breaks, they also don't want to leave my side. Solution: They wrestle on top of the bed. That's close to a hundred pounds of writhing dog all up in my pre-coffee bidness, you guys.

And although it's truly adorable that during storms they both love to cuddle up with me, when it storms for 72 hours in a row the excessive cuddling can get prohibitive of some things, like making dinner or cleaning or, I dunno, BREATHING.

The rain finally subsided today, so I tossed both of them out back a la Calvin's mom for most of the morning and afternoon and threatened to drive them into the woods and leave them if the complaining about it at the back door didn't stop and I mean fast.Why wouldn't they want a few hours outdoors? They're DOGS for crying out loud. Despite the fact that they both drink hot tea (true story).

When they came back in around 4, the both of them retired for an afternoon siesta. In separate locations. Because sometimes you just need your space.