I'm not vacationing in Florida, like I thought; apparently, I've retired here
Through Noah I've been making some new friends, and with the exception of Matt Spangler, when I say "new friends" what I really mean is "attractive young people who were born in the 90s." THE NINETIES. (Not that you're not attractive, Spang, it's just that you were born in the 80s, and have thus lost your fetal glow.)
Here's how one of our conversations went at a poker game the other night:
Megan: "Wait, who's Sandra Bullock?"
Me: "You're not serious."
Megan: "I mean, I just can't picture her. What has she been in?"
Me: "The Net."
Megan: [blank stare]
Me: "While You Were Sleeping."
Megan: [shakes head]
Chris: "Wasn't she in that one Speed movie? The lady bus driver?"
Matt: "Miss Congeniality."
Megan: "I think I've seen that one..."
Me: "Oh! The Proposal. With Ryan Reynolds."
Chris: "That's the one where they bump into each other naked. So funny!"
Megan: "Oh yeah!"
Yeah. The only movie that Megan could attach Sandra Bullock to was one in which she plays, basically, a cougar. Which, basically, is what I now am. Or would be, if I lost 20 pounds.
I'm so glad I didn't say Hope Floats.