Dog Ownership: A Study
Pro: Eats baby’s spilled food off the floor, even if it’s just generic oat rings.
Con: Eats baby’s food off of highchair tray when nobody’s looking.
Pro: Scarfs down “weird bits” of leftover meat.
Con: Scarfs down leg of Thanksgiving turkey when nobody’s looking.
Pro: Provides hours of outdoor frolicking fun.
Con: Provides hours of search-and-rescue missions after learning how to let himself out through the front storm door when nobody’s looking.
Pro: Becoming best friends with baby.
Con: Becoming best friends with baby’s dirty face and hands when nobody’s looking.
Pro: Waits patiently to be given afternoon snack.
Con: Waits patiently to steal afternoon snack out of the litter box when nobody’s looking.
Pro: Loves to cuddle on the bed.
Con: Loves to chew bed linens when nobody’s looking.
Pro: Has charming habit of chewing sticks.
Con: Has not-so-charming habit of chewing sticks in the house when nobody’s looking.
Pro: Adept at frightening off potential threats to the house.
Con: Adept at misinterpreting benign woodland creatures, neighbors, and vegetation as being potential threats to the house.
After reviewing this list, I’ve learned two things:
1) Apparently, nobody’s looking quite often.
2) Apparently, our dog is something of an opportunist.