Celebs Behaving Badly 2: Electric Boogaloo
a truly bizarre tale that hits close to home. 2.6 miles from home, to be specific.
An international soccer star was arrested in the parking lot of my Walmart on April Fools Day, and it wasn’t even a joke.
“Hope Solo arrested for DUI at the Walmart on Parkway Village Court,” Nick texted the Best Friends’ Gang on April 1.
I texted back: “Landon Donovan was arrested for public urination at the Five Points Trader Joe’s.”
Then: “Cristiano Ronaldo was arrested for flashing outside Diva Nails on Peter’s Creek.”
Then: “Megan Rapinoe was arrested for assaulting an elderly woman outside Dollar Tree.”
I could go on indefinitely. “Clint Dempsey was arrested for dining and dashing at the Taco Bell across from Gifts by Mia.” “Alex Morgan was arrested for shoplifting at Target on Hanes Mall Blvd.” “David Beckham was arrested for disturbing the peace at Earth’s Edge Tattoo on Silas Creek Pkwy.”
But incredibly, Nick was not making it up. He texted a local news link featuring a mugshot of the renowned-slash-disgraced U.S. Women’s Soccer keeper Hope Solo, who was arrested midafternoon for being drunk and asleep in our Walmart parking lot while her two kids were in the car. Which, if you think about it, is not even a little bit funny.
What I can’t help but think at a time like this is, how many other celebrities are lurking within a five-mile radius of my home in unincorporated Winston-Salem, and I don’t even know? I’m so disappointed.1
In other news, Noah signed us up for a trial of Walmart+ today, which features free same-day delivery, with the hope (no pun intended) of getting first-dibs access to rumored soon-to-be-available PS5s. That I won’t have to drive there for grocery pickup anymore, where at some point I was bound to be involved in a collision with a drunk Hope Solo, is merely an added bonus.
Elsewhere, my semester of A&P is coming to a close, and I have literally been dreaming about neuroanatomy almost every night for the past week.2 So I’ll close out with a little anatomy joke for all my A&P Heads out there:
What happens when a ventral root sympathetic motor neuron is arrested for DUI outside Walmart on Peters Creek? It gets put in a chain ganglion.
That I haven’t seen ANY of them.
Oh oh oh! To touch and feel very good velvet. Ah, heaven! Some say money matters most, but my brother says big brains matter more.
Celebs Behaving Badly 2: Electric Boogaloo
I don't know that I'd put Hope Solo in the "disgraced" category, at least not before this incident.
If you run into her at Walmart, can you get her autograph for me?
Thanks for the spine pic. As someone with spinal stenosis looking at surgery for help, I studied it with care.