Another surprise from my endless bag of tricks

I would have posted yesterday, but I wanted to give you all time to process my life-changing announcement. Also, I was busy doing this:

Yes, that's a Photoshopped image of me in my bedroom holding a bass guitar while wearing heavy makeup, cleverly mussed hair, and hipster-ironic Chuck Taylors. See, Noah bought me a bass guitar on the sly. Incidentally, he got it off Craigslist for cheap from an up-and-coming high school soccer star who has practiced with the actual Chelsea club, a sponsor of his traveling team. Apparently the lad is looking at Wake Forest and UNC for college, which are kind of awesome soccer-wise. I can only consider this purchase auspicious, on multiple levels.

I can see it now: We'll be like those celebrities who have known each other since they were young and before they were famous—the Damon/Affleck duo, for instance, or Cameron Diaz and Snoop Dogg. So when little Jimmy is off giving David Beckham a run for his money, and I'm nestled atop best-seller lists, it'll be a great talking point for interviews: "Oh we met when Jimmy sold me his bass guitar in a parking lot outside Food Lion years ago. Our band, of course, is just for fun."

Meanwhile, Noah and I are going modern-day Partridge Family, filling our home with the rocking baselines of Foo Fighters and Wolfmother. Album forthcoming.